Wednesday, March 01, 2006

a bat!

So - mucho drama in my house last night. I finish my run, enter the house, take a shower, get ready for homework/therapy planning, and see something in my bedroom. Shadows, a flicker here, a flicker there. Napoleon is going crazy in my room, and Cash is getting as far away as he can...

I begin to walk towards my room, and I decide it must be a bird. A bird must have gotten into my house. However, upon closer inspection, I realize that IT IS A FREAKING BAT! My gut instinct is to run screaming from the house, but what good would that do? It would still be there when I got back!

I shut the bathroom door and closet doors, to prevent it from getting elsewhere. I left the room, closing the door behind me, and had to think ... and shake. My whole body was shaking! I call my neighbor - I have a bat...what do I do I get a bat out of my house???

I come up with a plan. But first, I had to dress appropriately. So, I put on my only jacket with a hood and some gloves, and I grabbed a broom. I was going to open the window, and direct him outside with the broom. As I entered, I saw the bat flying around like crazy, and I just could NOT make myself go inside. But Napoleon went fearlessly into the room, and must have gotten his claws into the bat during a low pass or something, because when I entered the room with my new "weapon", the bat had parked it behind my dresser.

So, I had to move the dresser - very slowly, very quietly, so as not to wake the beast. My bright idea (keep in mind the bat seemed very large) was to suction the bat onto the extension hose of my vacuum cleaner, move to the window, and turn the vacuum off, in order to let him fly outside. I inched closer to the bat, shaking, shaking, shaking. I get the extension as close as I dare, and then turn on the vacuum!

And then - I hate to say it, because it was NOT my intention - it sucked it up! The whole bat! The bat goes into the hose! And I'm pretty sure it got stuck. So now, I'm freaking out, because either I have a dead bat in my vacuum cleaner, or a bat that is about to fly out of the extension hose and get revenge. So, I yank the plug out of the wall, and run outside, and throw the vacuum cleaner into my back yard.

And it is still there. Where it will remain until I haul it off to the landfill this weekend, because there is NO WAY I'm getting near it! Its really sad too - it was a really great vacuum cleaner.

I found the point of entry, sealed it up, and hope, pray, pray, hope, that this NEVER happens again.

More later - love, Jess


Liz said...

LOL....LOL....I'm sorry, I can't quit laughing. I'm sure that was traumatizing. But, dang. I'm picturing your little escapade in my head. LOL I wish I had been there to scream with you!

Jill, Chuck, and Andrew said...

I was going to say I wish I could have been there but I don't want to be around a bat. I wish I could have had it on tape to see you.