SICK!

I'm sick - who is responsible? Who gave me their cooties? When I find out, you are in BIG trouble! (Brent, we know you are innocent :)
So, anyway, I need a clone (or two). I'm supposed to teach, attend classes, go to my first doctor's appointment in two years, and report for jury duty next week - How exactly am I supposed to accomplish this? HELP! Calgon, take me away!!!
Later.
Love - Jess