Monday, September 12, 2005

The treadmill

I never knew a treadmill could be so dangerous. I had my first, and hopefully last, treadmill accident today. First, before you laugh too much, let me explain. I have a routine at the gym - I need to be in and out. Its so automatic - I go in, change, stretch, get on the bike for 45 min or so, stretch, and get on the treadmill for a jog. I completed the first five phases of the routine, ambled over to the treadmills, my eyes alighting on an empty treadmill, and I stepped right up. Much to my dismay, the treadmill was STILL MOVING (at an incredible rate of speed!). Some trick left it on and some other trick (that would be me) just assumed an empty treadmill would not have a moving belt.

I wish someone would have had a videocamera to capture the moment. I'm quite sure it was comical. I'm absolutely positive I could win some money from America's Funniest Home Videos. I stepped on the treadmill and it quickly shot me backwards into the front of the treadmill behind me. I was a human projectile, traveling at the speed of...well, as fast as a pleasantly plump gal like myself can travel. Embarrassed like you wouldn't BELIEVE! I waved to my adoring fans, went to the locker room to gather my belongings, and hobbled out of the gym. I drove home trying to think of a more glamorous (and fabricated of course) way to explain my current condition, but as Mark Twain said, when you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything, so I give you the truth. I hope you enjoyed it. It sure is funny to me when I imagine that I was an onlooker and replay it in my head. (I can hear Josh in my head saying "and you're going to school for what?")

So, I have a respectable case of treadmill-rash on my elbows, knees, and legs, as well as a swollen ankle, and some nice bruises forming in unmentionable areas. I'm trying to think of an alternative exercise plan. My knee hurts a little too much for the bike, my ankle is too messed up for running, and I have too many cootie-spreading scraped areas for a swim. I think the elliptical is calling my name.

What else to update you on? I had a great week and weekend - visitors at my house (Kobs, Katie, Jonathan), lunch and dinner dates (Jason, Brooke N., Mandy, Ben), web-cam with Brent, and a very productive weekend as far as school is concerned. Brent and I are counting down the days until we see each other, and we are finally in the double digits now - no more "one hundred and ...". VERY exciting.
I think that is all for now. I'll write again soon. - Love, Jess

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