Make A Way

I know I'm on a Natalie Grant kick right now, but I just can't help it. This is what I do when I buy a new album - I dive in, immerse myself, soak it up, apply it.

I wasn't very impressed with this song at first. Compared to my faves on the album (Our Hope Endures, I Will Not Be Moved, etc.), it just didn't jump out at me. Until I listened long enough to let her get to the last verse.

I think the verses also made me a bit uncomfortable. It speaks of a woman who is determined to make her own way, no matter what. And things just didn't work out the way she had planned, dreamed. She becomes increasingly discouraged, disillusioned.

I operated according to that mindset for many years. It is still my default if I am not careful. I can do this. I will do this. I will make it happen. I can. I will. I. I.

Where is God's voice in that mindset? Nowhere. No room for him.

Just a taste of the verse for you. I hope you take the time to listen.

"And so she bowed her head to pray
She cried Jesus please make a way
And she heard Him say

I'll make a way
I'll do whatever it takes even though it won't be easy
I have a plan and though you may not understand
Today I'll make a way
Hear Him say today He'll make a way"

You know you've arrived when...

some "flair"

some "flair" from my FB page. this one cracks me up :) I have others along these lines, all in support of the "real women have curves" idea....
Goddesses have hips
I'm built for comfort, not for speed
etc.

Fun stuff

funny comic strip

Even after careful perusal of this very informative chart, I still don't know what to call my profs. I do the "Dr. B", "Dr. P", "Coach", etc. The funny thing is that I am about to graduate, and I am still no closer to calling them by their names, even when they request it. It just doesn't even want to come out of my mouth, gets stuck at my lips.... Oh well. I wonder if any of my students feel this way when trying to figure out what to call me....

An anthem for me these days

I have been a wayward child,
I have acted out,
I have questioned sovereignty,
and had my share of doubts,

And though sometimes,
my prayers feel like they're bouncing off the sky,
the hand that holds won't let me go,
and is the reason why

I will stumble, I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes, I will face heartache,
But I will not be moved
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand,
I will not be moved

Bitterness has plagued my heart,
many times before,
My life has been like broken glass,
and I have kept the score
of all my shattered dreams,
and though it seemed,
that I was far too gone,
my brokenness helped me to see,
it's grace I'm standing on.

I will stumble, I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes, I will face heartache,
But I will not be moved
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand,
I will not be moved

Oh the chaos in my life,
has been a badge I've worn,
and though I have been torn,
I will not be moved

I will not be moved
I will make mistakes, I will face heartache,
But I will not be moved
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
all other ground is sinking sand,
I will not be moved

Become a better writer!

Here are some valuable tips to teach the kids on how to become better writers:

Avoid clichés like the plague – their old hat.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
Do NOT use a foreign word when there is an adequate English quid pro quo.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
Don’t repeat yourself, or say again for the fiftieth time what you have said before.
Be more or less specific (depending on what you mean too say)
Proffread to see if ewe have mispelled words or left any words out that you meant include.

Love this song

"I Choose" by India Arie

Because you never know where life is gonna take you
and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose.

[Verse 1:]
Here am I now looking at 30 and I got so much to say.
I gotta get this off of my chest, I gotta let it go today.
I was always too concerned about what everybody would think.
But I can't live for everybody, I gotta live my life for me.
I pitched a fork in the road of my life and ain't nothing gonna happen unless I decide.

[Chorus:]
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

[Verse 2:]
I done been through some painful things I thought that I would never make it through.
Filled up with shame from the top of my head to the soles of my shoes.
I put myself in so many chaotic circumstances, but by the grace of God I've been given so many second chances.
But today I decided to let it all go. I'm dropping these bags, I'm making room for my joy.

[Chorus:]
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

[Bridge:]
Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose.
release the guilt about why things happen they way they did cuz life is gone do what it do.
And everyday, I have the opportunity to choose.

[Verse 3:]
From this day forward I'm going to be exactly who I am.
I don't need to change the way that I live just to get a man. (NO!)
I even had a talk with my mama and I told her the day I'm grown,
"from this day forward, every decision I make will be my own." And hey!

[Chorus:]
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be courageous in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

[Bridge:]
Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose.
release the guilt about why things happen they way they did cuz life is gone do what it do.
And everyday, I have the opportunity to choose.

If a dog was the teacher...

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.
ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

Happy Easter!

my evening

looking at formant transitions, measuring vowels and voiceless stops, and measuring frequency...I'm ready for this part of my life to be over, but am grateful for the opportunity this work has given me in terms of learning and publications

A "WICKED" weekend

FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD


PRACTICING MY POPULARITY SKILLS, TRYING TO LEARN FROM GLINDA


ME AND TWO OF MY BROS


CROSSED EYES


THE LADIES


THE LADIES AGAIN


MOM AND JONATHAN - SO CUTE

Experiment Week 2 update

funniest quote this week (besides those uttered by our wonderful amazing inspiring participants):

S. (a research assistant) knocked on the door to relieve C. (another research assistant) who was participating in the CIAT (constraint-induced aphasia therapy) language games

C. says "Aw man..."

I loved it - she wanted to hang out more....loved it...we are having so much fun

I had a rough couple of days this week - A camera died on me, ~30 minutes of treatment went unrecorded, a tape was corrupted, etc. Roughness. Those things impact my research of course. But in the end, they are just a footnote in a document. The big picture is that therapy went great despite it all, participants made improvment, and we are having an impact. Who cares about the rest? It is important to remember I am doing this - not for a publication, not even for graduation requirements, but to help people, to change lives. Blips on the radar screen don't compare to #2 grabbing my hand and putting it to his face to say thank you, #0 bringing treats and buying us drinks everyday to express his gratitude, #1 making great strides and working hard on every sentence, and seeing #4 even make improvements despite how high functioning she is, and cheer us on, and cheat at games ;)

There is always drama in my life, in my family. Dramatic events have occurred recently that have definitely thrown a curveball - some handle it well, others don't. I keep asking myself - self, why aren't you more worried about this? self, why aren't you more upset about this? self, why aren't you stressed about this? Have you become unfeeling, emotionless?

Searching for the answer has led to this conclusion - I care, and deeply so. But I am honored, blessed to work with people every day who, in return for my therapeutic services, give me perspective and joy. For the most part, none of them can return to work, they are restricted to communicating with 1-2 people who will take the time to try and talk to them, they no longer talk on the phone or get on the computer, most avoid going out to eat or other recreation and leisure activities b/c they aren't designed for people who have difficulty communicating, many can't read or write anymore, some can't walk, spouses have left, friends and family avoid, etc....Those are real problems. And they are hopeful and motivated and generous despite it all, and a joy to have in my life. Perspective.

Love it. Love what I do. Love them. Love life.

"Contre Qui, Rose" from our winter concert

"Animal Crackers" from our winter concert

1 week down, more to go

Last week, I worked 87 hours in 5 days. Besides being so thankful for a wonderful week of experimentation, all I can say is "Oh my neck. Oh my back. Oh my neck and my back."

I'm exhilarated, amazed, exhausted, fulfilled, stressed, .... all at the same time. Its an interesting time for me.

frailty

The sentence that keeps running through my head right now is "All that is not faith is sin." So, I must be sinning up a storm, because I'm worried. And worry is not faith. Therefore, worry is sin, right?

I'm worried that I won't find that 1 more participant. I'm worried that my experiment isn't going to start or finish in time. I then worry that I won't graduate in August. And then I worry that I'll lose my job at UofSC. And that we'll be homeless and jobless.

Doom. Despair. Worry. Sin.

Yet, even as that sentence of unknown origin plays like a broken record in my head, I realize what a sentence of condemnation it is. Basically it says - you suck for being human, for having moments of frailty. But that is not what God is about - there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1). And as a believer, I believe that he understands my concerns, that he is big enough for me to have a little doubt and worry here and there...he is just waiting for me to reach out and take his hand, the one he has been holding out for me the whole time, so he can guide me once again on this particular journey.

More Athens snow pics

What is my personality color?

According to a facebook quiz:
Personality Color = Blue


If you are blue, you are outgoing with your friends, but not so much around new people. You like to chill and go with the flow of things. Sometimes you can become a little bossy. You are an awesome friend and care about their feelings.

Snow in Athens

Those were just a few pictures of the damage. Our house is surrounded by 800 million trees, give or take a few, and the arrival of the winter storm brought on the falling of some very large limbs and branches.
At about 9pm last night, our power finally went out. Brent saw what he thought was lightning in the distance, but we found out this morning that it was actually a transformer blowing up. We were curled up by the fire on the futon, half in and out of sleep. I think we were both in that very close to the surface sleep state, when we both heard the very distinct sound of a creaking and breaking tree. We both immediately rolled off the futon and onto the floor - no discussion, no words necessary, no hesitation. It did not land on the house, just very close. Afterwards, and even now, I laugh about that stop-drop-and-roll moment.


Where did the road go?


A view down our street


A view up our street




Mr. Johnny Cash really enjoyed the snow


The sun is out! What a beautiful day!


Me and B

Dreamers who do

"The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do."

~Sarah Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy, 1996