that arm must be free

Here is a picture of Lenorah in a nightgown, sleeping peacefully on her Dad. No, it is not intended to be an off-the-shoulder garment. But she MUST have at least one of her arms free at all times - when clothes are in her way, this is her solution. When a good swaddle impedes the freedom, believe us, she will fight and scream to free it.
I love that she already has a mind of her own.

my love song for Lenorah Hope

"To Make You Feel My Love"

When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

Make you happy, Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love, To make you feel my love

Too cute

It is amazing how much time we can spend staring at the beautiful faces of innocent little babies.

Sleepy little girl

Light and Hope

Lenorah Hope Richardson decided to arrive on August the 10th.

She gave us quite a scare - and that is an understatement, as I still start to shake when I think of the events of the afternoon - but she is here safe and sound.

She tried to come naturally, but something stopped her. Everytime I had long intense contractions, her heart rate would drop drastically..... even off the grid for nearly 5 minutes.

Terror. Desperation. That is what I knew in those moments. And Brent's eyes. And prayer.

She stabilized. Then it happened again. She stabilized. Then it happened again.

Five minutes later, I was on the table receiving an emergency C-section. And the doctor says "No wonder!" And Brent goes away. And I hear a cry. Finally.

It ends up her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck 3 times. And when I would have a contraction and she would descend, it was choking her. Hence the "No wonder!"

But she is here. And she is wonderful and beautiful. And she has brought more light into our world. And she is everything we had hoped for.

Bitter and Sweet

"Life at best is bittersweet." ~Jack Kirby

I was not sure what today would bring. I approached it with no small amount of disquiet, as the combination of bitter and sweet and pregnancy hormones did not seem very promising for a successful work day. Today my heart was focused on one we lost a year ago today, one we never got to meet..... while also eagerly awaiting the one very soon to arrive. How to deal with such conflicting emotions?

The day was quite distracting, so that certainly helped.... and I know two people in particular were sending special prayers my way.... and I work with amazing people.... and I have a husband who is God-sent. Still, the distractions and the workload were not enough. During the time that I did have to reflect, I thought of all of the things we take for granted, the little miracles that happen everyday and thus seem so commonplace. Until, boom, something stops the miracle in its tracks.

And I don't want to take things for granted, especially this child of ours. Who knows what the future holds? Who knows how long we will have each other? Certainly not me. So, I need to cherish each day, as if there were no more days.

This is not a new life blueprint.....quotes abound about this topic, movies and songs too. But sometimes it takes the combination of bitter and sweet for it to really be understood.

So, I sit here, writing to no one, writing cathartically, with Baby Girl moving around, getting herself positioned for entry into this world, and I thank her for every movement, every painful twinge, every late night and early morning bathroom break, every stretch mark.... for I am so glad for the opportunity to be part of this little miracle.