tears

you produce enough moisture to coat your eyes
to ensure lids and eyes work in concert to view this new world

you cry with enough volume to pierce my ears
even resonating with other matter at times; did you know you can make stuff vibrate just by causing your own vocal folds to vibrate?

you have many different cries by now, even though you have only been here for six short weeks.
your adorable hungry cry makes me laugh, and i'm sure you don't think that is funny at all.
but your "i'm in pain" cry makes me hurt, physically hurt.

and i'm so glad that you produce enough moisture to coat your eyes
but you are not yet mature enough to produce tears.
i don't know how my heart will handle it when they arrive.
i'm already producing the tears for you.

some happy moments in parenting

It has been a pretty rough road with breastfeeding issues, gastrointestinal problems, etc. And Brent has hardly been around... not because he hasn't wanted to be of course, but between work and school and guard duty, he has not been home much at all.
So, I've needed some happy moments in parenting.
And today I received some.
The first moment occurred this afternoon. My beautiful daughter was made even more beautiful when she offered her first social smile to me. Wow. It took my breath away. A real smile, not in response to gas or in her sleep, lasting more than a second or two. It lit up her eyes, she held it for a bit. Wow. I can't wait to photograph it for you, it is truly beautiful.
The second moment occured on our ride home. She was in the back seat by herself, and began to cry.... and we still had a good 10 minutes or so to go. I was singing to her songs from the radio, talking to her, nothing seemed to work. Then I began to sing one of the songs I sing to her every night, "Baby Mine." She immediately calmed. Wow. To know that she recognizes a song I sing to her every night, that it is comforting to her, even at this early age.... I felt like a total hero.
I really needed today.